I've Only Got One Heart
by Sagarmatha
Summary: A one-shot between Ten and Ten2 during Journey's End before Bad Wolf Bay. I hope this says everything I want to say about what's missing from the exchange on the beach. Stay tuned for a related one-shot between Ten2 and Rose in the alternate universe entitled "And I'm Him." Reviews and discussion appreciated. Enjoy!


The Doctor leaned against the wall of the Tardis watching Rose dutifully hold down the button his other self had put her in charge of. She was smiling and laughing and happy. But that only made him more painfully aware of just how much she belonged here.

"Oi, clone-boy," Donna whispered next to him, punctuating her words by throwing a hip at him and knocking him sideways. "Now's your chance," she gestured with her head towards the Doctor who was heading out of the control room.

"Oi! Subtle I said."

"Don't start!" She pointed a stern finger at him and rubbing his hip, he left his spot against the wall and followed the Doctor.

He found him in the corridor, standing uncertainly at a junction as if unsure if he should go left or right. The uncertainty didn't last. He watched the Doctor gather himself up at the sound of approaching foot steps and ready himself to face whoever was behind him. When the Doctor turned around he saw on himself the carefree smile he'd given so many people and wondered just how hard it had been to put on this time

"I'm sorry," he began without preface, "I don't feel good about what I did."

"I know," the Doctor replied, his smile turning rueful, "I would've done the same thing, regenerating to find Rose gone and everyone in danger. I just don't like to think I'm still capable of that."

"Most of the time you're not. You weren't."

"That's some consolidation, I guess." The Doctor shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

"I was emotional and I made a mistake." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, looking at the floor.

"It was a mistake I don't think you could have afforded not to make," the Doctor told him.

"I think you may be right." He lifted his head and locked eyes with the Doctor, searching for the forgiveness his words seemed to offer.

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably but held his gaze and inclined his head in acknowledgement.

"How's Donna doing?" The Doctor asked, breaking the tension.

"She doesn't know yet."

The Doctor rubbed his face wearily. "I'll wipe her memory once I've dropped everyone home."

He nodded. "What about Rose?" He asked as casually as his constricting throat would allow.

The Doctor took a deep breath and exhaled audibly.

"She needs to stay with her family."

He nodded again, "You were never wrong about that. She loves them so much. It . . ."

"It would be selfish to let her choose me over them," the Doctor finished his sentence. "And then it will just be us skinny boys," the Doctor continued, attempting a self-deprecating smile, "knocking about the universe."

"I'm so sorry," He replied, shaking his head. Now that they had come to it, he was surprised at how sure he was.

"What d'ya mean?" The Doctor asked, a hint of goofiness now, expecting a joke between boys.

"I'm going with Rose."

"What?" Eyes widening.

"I need her. For all the same reasons you do and more."

The Doctor's face fell. "I know. I've seen the way you look at her."

"It's the way you look at her," he met the Doctor's gaze with all the heartfelt sympathy he possessed. He deserved that at least.

Ten winced but nodded. "I would have let her say, if it weren't for you. Let her live out her whole life by my side. I don't think I could have stopped myself, despite," he paused. "Despite how much her death would've hurt in the end."

"I know."

"And you?" The Doctor gestured loosely at him.

"My heart leaps when she smiles at me and I. . ."

"And you think mine don't!" The Doctor's eyes flashed.

"I know they do," he replied, his chest tightening, "but I'm human enough to feel more than that."

The Doctor closed his eyes. "She was always going to fall in love with you, wasn't she? If we let her stay with us."

"I wouldn't be able to keep the distance that you do."

The Doctor looked at him again, this time with a fond smile, but it was not for him. "And she would respond to that. Of course she would." The Doctor gave a resigned shake of his head

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." The Doctor sniffed. "She deserves more."

"She deserves you."

"And I can't," The Doctor waved his hands expansively trying to encompass all the he reasons couldn't simply be a man in love with her.

"But if you can be brave enough to let her go, I can be brave enough to give up all of space and time."

The Doctor sniffed again. Then drawing himself up and squaring his shoulders, his eyes watery eyes now blazing, he resolved, "So we leave her with you."

He nodded slowly. "But it has to be you. She won't want to leave you." His own watery eyes pleading now, "Show her how much I need her."

"What do I say?"

He shook his head, "I don't know."

The Doctor turned and left himself in the corridor where he'd found him, not envying the task of convincing the woman he loved to let him go, even for a man who would get to love her exactly the same way.


End file.
